Girl Hate

Alicia Keys says she waited a year before having sex with her boyfriend. Read about it.

Alicia Keys made boyfriend Kerry 'Krucial' Brothers wait a year for sex because she is "too beautiful" to give herself to someone she is unsure of.
The longtime songwriting duo have kept their romance closely under-wraps but Keys reveals the grueling test she forced the producer to undergo.
She says, "I made him wait a year because my body is too beautiful to be violated by someone who doesn't deserve it."

Pasted from <http://www.starpulse.com/news/index.php/2006/08/14/boyfriend_had_to_wait_one_year_for_sex_w?referer=MGToolBar>

When I first read about it, I thought, 'Good for her, she has a healthy sense of self respect.'

However, when browsing a messageboard that was discussing the topic, I saw so many people that hated on her for this decision.

The comments ranged from, who does she think she is, putting herself on a pedestal to 'gee that's cool, I wish I could've waited that long.' I started to think about why people had such varied reactions. If Alicia does in fact 'put herself on a pedestal', is that a bad thing? Why are people threatened by that? You can put yourself on a pedestal too, right?

Will people think that she has the right to put herself on a pedestal because she's pretty? Can only cute light skinned girls make men wait? If she holds herself in high esteem, does that mean she thinks she's better than anyone else? I don't think so. But, people take it that way. On the one hand the world tells young women to believe in yourself, respect yourself and demand respect from others. On the other hand, the message is, if you mention the value you have for yourself, you're bragging.

You can be confident and have a high sense of self esteem but just realize that people that aren't as lucky are going to hate on you. But, if you are considered less attractive or have some obvious 'flaw', the masses root you on. We all like the underdog. It's unfortunate that us women compete with each other so much when it comes to things like this. How many times have you gotten bad advice from someone that you later realize was jealous of you. Howmany times have you been mean mugged by some woman while you were out.

mini-vent ahead...
In fact, this just happened to me on Friday. I went out to eat at this Thai restaurant, while there, I noticed a couple sitting near our table. They had this really interesting dish on their table. A huge pineapple filled with what looked like rice or noodles and meat. We remarked about the dish to ourselves. I made eye contact with the female, but kept it moving. Afterwards, we went to the ice cream shop. Of course that couple was in line ahead of us. I would look up and catch the woman staring at me. Her date up until this point was not paying me any attention, so it wasn't one of those situations. This chick checked me out from head to toe and then back to head again. I started to go over to her and introduce myself since her eyes were boring a hole into my outfit. In the beginning I smiled at her. By the end of the night I had a look on my face that said, 'WTF?' I'm purposely not going to comment on her hair and outfit or describe what I was wearing. I don't think that matters. It was just that typical female stare-down that girls do to other girls. It really pissed me off because I thought it was soo unnecessary.

...end of mini-vent

Maybe this is why there are so many women that say, 'I hate women. I prefer to hang out with guys.' I guess that could be one way of avoiding the situation. But, I believe that in relationships, romantic and otherwise, you tend to get what you put out there. If you're a good girlfriend, you'll probably find yourself surrounded by good girlfriends. If you're judgemental, critical, competitive and insecure, you'll probably notice that trait in the females you hang out with. Like attracts like. And as much as I value my guy friends, they can't take the place of my female counterparts. There has to be a balance.

So, ladies, it's alright to smile at other ladies when you are out, especially if you're going to stare. And if you like her outfit, say so, don't just stare, it's uncomfortable.

Holla