Black and White People Make Pretty Babies

That is what he said.

We were sitting on his couch, looking through his photo album. In it, I found a series of pics of a blonde haired little boy playing with his son. He told me that blondie is his nephew.

Was that pride in his voice?

"Really? Is your sister white" I said.

"No. She's married to a German guy."

He looks white doesn't he?

I picked up the pic and looked at it closer.

He actually has 'black features. The blonde hair threw me off. Not many black people have cornsilk colored wavy locks. Even his very fair complexion doesn't take him out of the 'black' category.

So, then he commented about how cute the little boy is. I agreed.

Then, he said, 'I've always thought that Black and White people make the prettiest babies.'

I burst out laughing.

He wanted to know what was soo funny.

Surely he had to be joking.

Apparently, he was not.

So, I engaged him.

'Why do you think biracial children are so cute?'

'I know what you're going to say, it's because of the hair and skin color. But, that's not it. I think the mixture of the features is really cute.'

'Really?'

'Yeah! But, you're 'Miss Natural', so you probably won't agree.'

Before responding, I had to replay all of our interactions through my mind's eye. When we first met, he said that he didn't like natural hair on black girls. I explained to him my philosophy about black girls learning to love what they are, without alteration. He knows I'm quite passionate about it.

Eventually, when he saw my hair in its natural state, he said that he liked it...that it wasn't like an afro. Could it be because my hair product mojo was working well that day and my curls weren't frizzy like they are right now? He's also commented many times about how beautiful he thinks I am. Could it be because my nose and lips are narrower than his, the strong reddish hue in my skin or because my eyes have a subtle epicanthal fold. To him, am I just pretty for a brown girl?

I snapped back to the moment.

I told him that he's not alone in his thinking. Mainstream America thinks that a person that is just a little bit black is attractive. That 'je ne sais quoi' is African. He denied that was the case. I reminded him about the black man's obsession with Kim K (who - while Armenian, is still considered white by my company's EEOC department), J. Lo, Vida Guerra and the bevy of other non-black 'models' that have graced the cover of black men's magazines advertising their very African assets.

I'm not hating, pretty is pretty, and I know that there are alot of black men that find black women, that look like them, attractive and desirable. I was just trying to get THIS black man to think about WHY he thought a particular set of physical attributes are more desirable.

Alas, I dropped it. I've learned to pick my battles. I certainly can't get a grown man to see the world differently all in one conversation.

Then, as if to prove he's not whitewashed, he said, 'It's not like I'm caught up on white people. I actually think Asians and Blacks make really cute babies too!'

*DEAD*

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Concession Stand

It all started with me asking a simple question. A question that I didn't really expect an answer for. Just me thinking out loud really. Now that I think about it, it wasn't even a question, more of a statement really.

"I wonder if that star right there is brighter because it's closer to earth."

He answered, "No, it's brighter because that's the North Star."

Now, right here it's important to note that we were facing due west. So, I point due north and say..."I don't think so, because that's north over there."

He replied, "No, that's the North Star, are you prepared to tell Joseph and Mary that they were going west not north." Don't ask me why he felt the need to bring the sweet baby Jesus's birth into this silly discussion.

I didn't want to go back and forth so, I said, "Ok, whatever." Why debate something that can easily be proven?

But, he wasn't quite ready to let it go. "If you think that's north, then we should be able to see the North Star, we just need to be up higher."

"Look, I know that's north, we don't have to go hiking to prove it do we? Especially, in this parking lot."

"What? Are you getting scared now?"

Why did he have to say that? So, we found the nearest hill, climbed to the top of it and looked for the North Star. The trees were in the way, we couldn't see any bright stars in the cloudy night sky.

"Oh I know", he said, "We can use the GPS in my car. That will tell us which way is north. Then THAT will be the be all end all. We'll go with whatever the GPS says."
"Sure, that's fine."

See, he was banking on the fact that this machine was going to prove me wrong. I can't describe to you how fast he ran to the car, he was soo excited. 'Penni doesn't know every dayum thing', he thought, 'I've got this one.' (And he was partially correct. I DON'T know everything and would never claim to. It's funny how people try to put that on me.) I stroll back to the car. I'm thinking this fool has lost his ever loving mind and why is it soo important for him to prove me wrong anyway. What's that about?

So, he powers up the car. The little N with the triangle above it is pointing towards 'my north'. I meekly point that out. His reply is, "Well, let's move the car in the other direction just to see what happens." I sit back in the front seat, amazed at how far he's taking this. He backed the car up and turned it left (west). The triangle above that little N didn't budge.

"Hey wait, that triangle didn't move."
"That's because it's facing north."
"How can it be facing north when you make a left but, incorrect when you
were parked. You can't have it both ways."

He thought about that for a moment. Meanwhile, I looked at the icon that represents his car in the middle of the onscreen map. Then I notice that it is sitting perpendicular to I-95. I said, very calmly...

"95 runs north to south right?"
"Yes."
"Well, why is your car perpendicular and not parallel to 95 right
now?"
"Oh."

Then, I tried to wrap it up so that we could move on.

"You know how I know which way is north?"
"How?"

I pointed in the direction of the interstate.

"Because that's 95 over there. It runs parallel to where we are right now.
So, I figured that the North Star couldn't be 'beside' 95. It would have to be
in front or in back of us."
"Oh."

At this point, I was beyond annoyed. We'd just spent a good 20 minutes 'proving' me wrong...and why? I thought it was over but, my luck isn't that good. He was not going to end the night on a low note.

"So, that star must be another galaxy."
"You can't see another galaxy with the naked eye. You'll need a
telescope for that."
"No, people see other galaxies all of the
time."

At this point I'm thinking surely he's seen Men in Black. I think they covered this concept in that movie. Sci-fi channel anyone???
"I don't think so."
A white couple minding their own business have the misfortune of walking in our direction. He says,
"I'm going to ask that man."
"Why do you think he knows. You think all white people know more about astronomy than I do?"
"He just looks like he might know."
I'm so embarrassed, I hang back while he approaches the man. I overheard the man corroborating my story. He's still not satisfied.
Did I mention that I'm beyond annoyed.

"Why are you so hell bent on proving me wrong?"
"It's not about proving you wrong, I just don't think you are right."
"Ok, well, you can always go home and google this stuff. I'm not making it
up. All the stars we see with our unaided eyes are in the Milky
Way. That's our galaxy."
"Ok, I just think we should be able to see other galaxies."
"Alright, well, I'm going in now. Have a good night."

I didn't know what to make of the whole exchange. It was very strange and competitive and weird.

I titled this post Concession Stand because this afternoon after googling all morning trying to find some kind of evidence...some kind of 'ah ha!' to prove me wrong, he sent me an email which read simply...

"okay you win. i conceed victory to you : )"

How telling is that? Nowhere during the exchange was I trying to 'win'. In fact, I kept trying to back down and let it go. But, I 'won'...and I didn't even want to 'play'.


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