Most people have a Celebrity Hit List (CHL). This is a list of celebs that you'd hook up with if you had the chance. I think a person's list says a lot about what kind of people they're attracted to. For example, on my list are Idris Elba (an actor from The Wire - for you non-wire folks out there), Dr. Burke (Gray's Anatomy), Nelly, The Rock and TI. From this list, it's safe to deduce a few things about my likes. I like men with an abundance of melanin. If you're melanin challenged, like the Rock, you should definately have a nice body. If you don't have a nice body, like TI, you should definately have a confident swagger. All of these men portray an image of being smart, confident and pretty secure with themselves.
Now, what if I asked a guy I'm dating for his CHL and he had Gabrielle Union, Tamala Jones, Toni Braxton and Kelly Rowland in prominent positions? I'd think ok, cool. I'm in that range. They're all in my complexion range. They all have figures similar to mine. They're all kind of low key but still cute or even sexy to some. But, what if he said that his list contained Beyonce, Eva Mendes, Jessica Rabbit, Rihanna and that girl from the Pussy Cat Dolls? I'd probably sit there and wonder, what does he see in me, if those women are his ideal?? In the back of my mind, I'd probably store this little tidbit away.
Why would a man consider dating a woman that didn't come close to his ideal? Could it be because he doesn't think he can actually 'pull' his ideal, so he'll settle for somebody out of scope? Or maybe it's something totally different. I have no idea how men think when it comes to this.
I do know that men fall in love with women they find attractive and women become more attracted to men that they are in love with. So, our list isn't based on physical attraction alone. We include all kinds of intangibles like swagger, whether or not he's cheated on his celeb mate, sense of humor and other things like that. Whereas most guys I know don't even have to know the woman's name to add her to the list. LOL
So maybe you should ask your person who's on their CHL. Then ask them if they think you have anything in common with the people on that list. Let me know how that goes...