Monday, October 30, 2006

The Radar

Imagine an air traffic control terminal. There is a blue screen, a few dots sprinkled about and a glowing white vertical line that sweeps back and forth across the semi-circle shaped screen. Each time the line passes across the smattering of dots, there is a very calming beep. However, when one of those dots, moves towards the edge of the screen, an alarm goes off.

This is the male radar. And ladies, we are the dots. I think men have an internal mechanism that psychically checks the status of each of the dots, or loves, in their past. As long as you're single when the monitor line passes over you, he'll hear a calming 'beep'. However, the minute you start dating someone that is of value and that you might start digging, his alarm goes off. Of course, since this mechanism is sub-conscious, he doesn't know why he's calling you out of the blue. He just felt compelled to call you to 'see how you're doing'. Or he was just thinking about that time when you and he went on vacation and how nice it was. To the younger woman, this can be confusing. Does he like me still? Does he want to get back together? Etc.

Once a woman reaches a certain age, she knows all about The Radar. She knows that once he's loved her, on some level he'll always feel like she's partly his. She also knows that his alarm can and will go off, even when he's happily involved with someone else. The alarm call, doesn't mean he wants you back, he just senses that he's about to not be able to ever have you again. You see, even if they don't want you, sometimes people like to know that you're there 'just in case'. I know, it sounds crazy, but, it's real, trust me on this.

Sometimes, the alarm is based on a signal to the man that his window of regret is closing. Surely, you've ended at least one relationship on bad terms where the guy was an @ss. You went away frustrated. Analyzing it with your girls, 'how could he do something like that?' What you don't know is that he realizes that he was a jerk but, pride has kept him from apologizing. Then, before he knew it, a week became a month which became a year. You've worked through it, chalked it up and moved on. And the minute you stepped towards the edge of his screen, he is ravaged with regret and he wants to tell you what a mistake he made.

I'm sure there are other reasons for the alarm. I think most men of a certain age can and will analyze their own behavior to figure out the best way to proceed when the alarm goes off. Instead of calling you, they may go and have a drink with the fellas. Who knows.

Ladies, there's nothing we can do about the radar. If you were lucky enough to have found love then unfortunate enough to have lost it, you may get an alarm call every now and then. You just need to know what's really going on and react accordingly.


1 comment:

news2me said...

You're right Penni. The radar is very real and I have to agree that it beeps for purely selfish reasons - you're now officially out of their reach. But I tell ya, I'd love to be there when the radar goes off - just one time and I'll be quite satisfied. HAHAHAHAH! Wishful thinking on my part.

But truly, there's nothing to be done about the radar, just don't get sucked in by the original selfish buzz (the random email, the phone call, etc). Don't believe the hype - chalk it up to a random email or a phone call - build no story around it.