Just Get on the Bus!

What you do if you met someone that embodies 90% of your list? You know the list, the one where you keep track of qualities you'd like to have in a mate. So, this new person, is a dead ringer for someone very close to your ideal. Conventional wisdom would suggest that you'd be ecstatic...especially if that person thought you were just as great.

So, why is it that when we meet that person, the first thing we do is second guess it? You know, analyze everything they say for inconsistencies, push them away. Maybe your ideal didn't come at the right time, so you're just not prepared. Is it hubris to let this person get away, when the likes of which you haven't seen before and in your gut, know you won't see again? But, that's it isn't it?

It's just like catching a bus. Even if you've been standing at the bus stop everyday for hours waiting on one particular bus, when it comes, if you're not ready, something in you considers that, if this one came, then surely another one will. How many people have been standing out there, rain, snow, sleet and shine still waiting? Why is it so scary just to get on the bus and dig in your bag for bus fare once you're seated? What's the worst that could happen? The bus driver could kick you off the bus. But, he may just let you slide. Or, you borrow the change from someone and pay them back later.

Back in the day people would always say, if you miss the bus, don't worry another one will come along. I don't think that's true anymore. Quantity has never equalled quality. So, while you may see a dozen Z11's pass by, you don't know that 11 of them may not be clean, may not have available seats, and may have air and heat that doesn't work.

I contend that when you find the bus that has room for you, jump on it. Don't hesitate...and enjoy the ride.

My Lip Gloss is Poppin'

LOL

Ok, I just saw the video, or should I say, KLS Lipgloss commercial - Can't knock Kimora's hustle! Anyway, this little girl called, Lil Mama rap/sings a song about how her lip gloss brings all the little boys to the yard. I can appreciate the fact that she's dressed like a teenager and all the kids actually look like high schoolers. I think it's funny though how she names all of these grown up lipgloss brands, MAC, L'Oreal etc. What happened to Bonne Bell, are LipSmackers just not cool enough anymore? Can Rosebud salve get an honorable mention? Sheesh!

Kids these days are waaay more sophisticated than I was even after college.

Holla

This Ain't a Scene

...it's a G-D Arms Race.

That's my song for today. I know I was late to the Fall Out Boy bandwagon. They did get me with Dance Dance last year but for some reason, I just took it as one of those main stream songs that I like. I didn't know I'd like alot of the songs on the CD.

The songs are upbeat and easy to sing along and y'all know how I like to sing aloud in my car. LOL

I can't wait until the new Maroon 5 CD comes out. That's my group right there.

Well, I'm off to watch FOB videos...

Holla

It's NOT me!

So, I was talking to my best friends about my latest dating exploits. Long story short. I think I'm living in the Twilight Zone. Nothing is what it seems to be.

So, I go on the date, we laugh, we joke, we have effortless conversation. He tells me about a cool sushi place that he'd like to take me (2nd date?). Then the next day, he fades into the ether. But, before he completely disappears, he calls. "Hey, how's your day going? Holla back when you get this message."

I holla...and it echoes off the walls of an infinite abyss.

When I convey my stories like this to my coupled friends, they say things like,
"Well, maybe you weren't open." or
"Maybe you only thought he was having a good time." or
"Maybe your guy won't be this ambitious, socially aware, super bright guy that you think is ideal. Maybe your guy is going to be blue collar."

The unspoken message behind all of these warm and compassionate rejoinders is that it's me. I'm the problem.
I wasn't myself on the date or
I'm delusional or
My standards are too high and I should settle for something less than my ideal.
(and for the record, blue collar guys have no problem rejecting people too)
That's all bogus!

I know that they mean well. But, it's insulting. I'm not the problem. I'm not even going to say that the guy is always the problem. Sometimes it just is what it is. They're not that into you. I've been not that into people before. That's life. But, this dating thing is very different than it used to be. The only rule is that there are no rules. Every guy that doesn't call isn't a jerk. Every one that does isn't a good catch. Sometimes, we're supposed to call them. But, sometimes we're not. Ask questions up front...but don't ask too many. It's all very confusing.

The bottom line is there are people who basically break all the rules and still end up with somebody that would drink their bathwater. And then there are those of us who are trying to put our best foot forward and keep striking out. It's not fair, but, hey that's the way it goes, right? It's annoying but I can live with it. I try not to take it personally, but, when you start implying that there are things I should be doing differently, that sends the message that maybe I should be taking it personally. I know you don't mean to make me feel bad, so, I have a tip for all you coupled people with single friends...

When they come to you with another jacked up dating story. Just listen. Then acknowledge the F'd-upness of it all and make plans to take them out to dinner or hang out to get their mind off of it.

Holla

April Fools

This weekend I went to the Cherry Blossom Festival on Sunday. It was beautiful. If you've never been down to the Tidal Basin to take in the blossoms, you're missing out. Plus, it's a romantic cheap date.

...gotta go to a meeting

brb